Who Cut The Cheese?

Anyone who knows Gabe knows that he has some...quirks. He doesn't really like to be touched by other people. He has to sit at a certain place on the couch. He won't take a bite off of someone else's plate, and if God forbid someone snags a bite from his plate he won't finish the food. He's what I'd consider a mild germaphobe (despite the fact that he's had the same container of hand soap in his bathroom for 2.5 years.) But I digress.

So today, we head to our local IGA: Gould's ShurShave. Its a rinky-dink grocery store with limited produce, not much variety, and occassionally hiked prices (i.e. $6.99 for a melon, anyone?) But, it's close, and suffices the basic weekly grocery shopping. However, today there was an incident at the deli counter that will forever cloud Gabe's judgement of Gould's Shursave. The exchange went like this....

Gabe: 1lb of Land o' Lakes Provolone, please.

Deli Girl: (grabs hunk of meat with bare hand)

Gabe: Land o' Lakes cheese

Deli Girl: (grabs hunk of Land o Lakes cheese with bare hand)

Gabe: (involuntarily dry-heaving) Um, can you put a glove on?

Deli Girl: (with attitude) If you don't like the way I'm doing it, go get the manager.

At this point, enter Deli Boy...

Deli Boy: (steps in) How can I help you?

Gabe: 1lb of Land o' Lakes Provolone

Deli Boy: (snaps on gloves) How would like that sliced?

Gabe: Thin is good.

Deli Boy: (scratches ear repeatedly with gloved hand, then grabs the cheese) Sure thing.

Gabe: Never mind.

A few moments later, I came around a corner to find Gabe aggitatedly describing the above event to not just the store manager, but the store owner. Statements such as, "He scratched his EAR and touched the cheese!" and "You can't expect me to buy that. I just can't do it man, I can't do it!" flew through the air, followed by, "We're so sorry sir," and "We're training in the deli right now."

We then checked out of Gould's, and as Gabe said, "I've spent my last $100 there. I'm DONE!" He even cut up his Gould's ShurSave Savings Card in a dramatic fanfare. The rest of the day was spent debating the ethics of deli sanitation, germaphobes, the importance of washing hands after you go to the bathroom, and rim jobs. (Please don't ask. It's hard to explain how a conversation goes from dirty cheese to explicit sexual acts, but it happens, especially wtih Shawn and Gabe in the car....)

Other highlights of our fun (though in no way romantic) V-day weekend with Shawn and Kellie...

* Our Valentine's night out was nearly foiled by a surprise snowstorm. Grammy Sharon pulled through, and before leaving Gabe proved to her that her snazzy Caddie could make it up our driveway.

* Many a picture was taken of various adults wearing little, innocent G3's Elmo ballcap.

* Lindsay requested Gabe put some BioFreeze on her back to help soothe some of her post-massage aches. Gabe (displaying yet another cute little quirk) chose to wear rubber gloves because "I don't like the feeling of Biofreeze on my hand.

* A new hand gesture was invented between the four of us. I cannot disclose the source, but it's wrong, really really wrong.

* There was a whirlwind visit to G3 from his grandparents and Great-Grandparents.

* Kellie made up some new words to "Mary Had a Little Lamb". Let's hope G3 doesn't retain anything he heard in the car today.

* After a casino trip for the boys and some TJMaxx-ing for the girls (and G3) we had lunch at Wegman's. G3+No Nap+Cookie = Very Badly Behaved Child. Picture wet napkins being thrown at other customers and certain people's hair (mine) being pulled in a frantic outburst. Why, you ask, were we eating lunch at Wegman's? We had to stop for cheese, of course.