Oh, Facebook, How I Adore You

It's no secret that I adore Facebook. For so many reasons....I love this method of keeping in touch with people I don't see often. I love the jokes and witty banter between myself and people I do see often. I like being able to share pictures of my son with everyone from my Gram to his nursery school teacher in one shot. I like expressing myself through a "status update."

I've gotten more advice and solved more problems (how to get crayon out of a load of wash, how to potty train a 2 year old, how to deter snakes from the garden--among others) thanks to Facebook. I've given advice to lots of people in areas I know a lot about...photography, pets, babies. I woke up on my birthday to find 20 messages on my wall wishing me Happy Birthday...and the day delivered quite a few more--if you can find the negative in THAT please let me know!!

Without Facebook, I doubt my little photography business would be as successful as it has been. Not only can I share my website and other photos that I take, but a large portion of my "friends" on FB either live where I do, or live in Selinsgrove where my parents do. This is a great amount of exposure.

I like keeping in touch with those close to me who live far away. As someone who doesn't really talk on the phone, I am certain that some of my friendships would have drifted away if not for FB. My girls in Pottstown, my oldest friend in Alaska, Sarah and Natalie in Montana. And of course, there is my sister who lives in North Carolina. I'm not saying we wouldn't still be close but Facebook sure does make it easy! And I can't tell you how much I enjoy reconnecting with someone I never thought I'd see again--an old co-worker or a college friend, for example.

And of course, there is the curiosity aspect. Facebook is a window into other people's lives. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't read people's statuses and check out their pics for the pure sake of being curious. And in many ways it reaffirms what I already know--I have a good life, I have a good family, I have a good kid. But with that in mind, there is the humorous side to knowing so much about everyone's lives, the "OMG I can't believe..." side. Though I definitely don't hold back much of what I put on Facebook, I also don't post things such as the last arguement I had with my husband, woman troubles, or anything that is really personal or will cause drama. It seems unnecessary and in poor taste. But, although I think a lot of people feel this way, clearly not everyone does!!! Here are just a few people who are on my friends list that continue to amaze, shock, and entertain me.

The Serial Poster By serial poster, I don't mean someone who updates their status 2x a day and adds pictures once a week. That would be me, and a lot of other people. By "serial poster" I mean someone who updates their status everytime they do something. Like go to the bathroom. Drive to Taco Bell. Pick up their kid from school. Feed the dog. Typically this person has between 10-20 status updates A DAY. In addition to status updates, they like to add pictures daily. Pictures of their dog sleeping on the floor. Pictures of a bird that landed on the hood of their car. Pictures of their kids doing nothing. Pictures of pictures that have nothing to do with anything, such as a photo-of-a-photo of last years flip-flops. This person posts pictures in albums, on their wall, and on other people's walls. They obviously spend a lot of time scanning old photos from the past, as there are new "oldies" almost every day. This person posts from their phone and computer, and will do a status update while driving, while at the OBGYN, or while waiting in line at the grocery store. One can only wonder who is raising their children, feeding their pets, cleaning their house and you know, going to work for them, since they are obviously on Facebook 20 of 24 hours a day!

The Family that Fights Online...Um, Probably Fights at Home Too This is something that has no end in sight, people who visciously fight with their husbands, wives, parents and children on their Facebook walls. The walls are the public place...anyone who is a "friend" can see what is written. Its a place to write "Happy Birthday" or "Want to meet for lunch?" or "I miss you!" NOT a place to write (to your teenage daughter) "If you don't get your ass home NOW we will be calling the police" and then have your husband chime in with "I've been dealing with your shit for 13 years, I'M DONE. Move out, I don't care" and then have your father chime in "Like you two know anything about raising kids." Or to publicly detail every account of discord between you and your fiance with status updates such as "Since you won't answer your phone, dont be surprised when you come home to boxes all over the house because I'm leaving!" or "My husband is a complete jackass". To me, this kind of stuff is terrible, and its even worse that there is no shame in sharing this kind of stuff with.the.whole.world. On the flip side, its damn good entertainment in the same sense that Jerry Springer and Maury Povich are entertaining.

The Shady Drama Starter This is the kind of person who posts something obvious in an oh-so-subtle way. Something like "Im so freaking mad I could kill someone...you know who you are!" Of course, many of said person's friends will comment with "OMG who are you talking about?" and "Do you need me to get involved? Im here for you!" and the original poster will reply with, "Oh you know who I'm talking about. She's got it coming." Basically its high school bullshit even though the people talking are usually in their 30's. You have to wonder if they REALLY plan to "knock her F***ing teeth out" or if that's just in their fantasies that occur while curled on the couch in PJ's on Facebook!

The Wow, There Really Are People Out There Like That...Think of every stereotype you know of. Imagine it exaggerated. And know that yes, there really, really are people out there who are like that. People who post at 11am "I wanted to sleep in but SOMEONE wanted his cheese doodles" accompanied by a wall photo of a naked baby with a saggy diaper holding a bag of cheese doodles. Or the people who regularly post status updates in terrible, horrible, how-can-you-not-know-this grammar like "Wish my uncle werent coming to help us move...he ain't gonna be no help!" People who make slight prejudicial comments...not outwardly racist or demeaning, but close enough to make you wonder. People who post pictures of themselves going to the bathroom (yep, have seen more than one of those!) People who continuously talk about how their kids make them better, and they try to be good for their kids and in the same day post pictures of themselves doing things that clearly AREN'T good for kids...I could keep going on this one but I'm sure we all have seen a sampling.

The Let's Post Every Single Bad Picture Ever Being a "photographer" I might be biased here. And I will say that looking at other people's pictures is one of my favorite parts of Facebook. BUT...don't post all 245 vacation pictures, including 37 of the ocean. Don't take 19 pictures of your son in his highchair and post...all 19. Why, why, why do people post pictures that are so blurry or out of focus that you can't really tell what they're supposed to be? And in this same category goes the self-portrait kings and queens. Teens are the common culprits, but we'll cut them some slack 'cause, well, they're teenagers! They're supposed to be obsessed with themselves. But I am perplexed at the stay at home mom who has 37 profile pictures of herself making kissy lips in a mirror, all with completely different outfits and hairdos. First off--who has this kind of time? And secondly, I've attempted the self-portrait-with-camera-phone a time or two (usually to send a picture to my mom or sister of a new haircut or new glasses). Its not easy. So my conclusion is that if you are good at taking this kind of picture, you take WAY too many. And finally--those who post drunken pictures of themselves. Not saying that there isn't a photo of my in my albums where I might be intoxicated. Sure there is. But there's no photos of me (in existence, let alone on FB) where Im passed out on the toilet, laying on the ground drooling, or flashing someone. (Side note: I should say no photos in existence since 2000. Or 2006. One of those.) In any event they aren't on FB where everyone from my grandfather to my ex-boss to potential photography clients can view.

The My Life Sucks Poster And finally, a very special kind of poster. I have one particular person in my head, though there are lots of them. Its a girl I know from a few years back, someone who I would not be in touch with were it not for social media, but who I gladly accepted a friendship with in order to reconnect. It was an old co-worker with whom I always got along with and enjoyed her self-deprecating humor. Clearly, I didn't see the real her in person quite as well as I do on Facebook. She posts frequently, and I have never, ever (maybe once or twice, but that's it) seen a positive status update. Im not saying she doesn't have things to complain about, but most of the things she bitches endlessly, tirelessly, and bluntly about are things she could change about her life. I used to comment on her statuses with uplifting words of encouragement, but I no longer do that b/c she shoots every one down. She mostly complains about her terrible, horrible job in retail, and how everyone who is a customer is an asshole, a jerk, and ignorant. She complains about her boss. She complains about the weather pretty much yearround--even gorgeous weather is "not so fun when you're stuck inside all day".

She complains about her living situation. She complains about the fact that there is nothing on television (quite frequently). She complains that Wawa doesn't make good hoagies anymore. She bitches about health and weight issues frequently but when given suggestions or advice or even sympathy she rebuffs it with negativity and excuses.

I guess the thing about this person is that she makes me both sad and thankful at the same time. Sad that her life, her exisitence is completely shrouded in a shitty job, living alone, watching TV and eating as well as complaining about everything under the sun. Thankful that I myself don't have that kind of exisitence. Confident that if I did, I would be able to change things about myself and my life to overcome it.

So, the brilliance of facebook--not just a way to keep in touch, share photos, and promote one's business...but a window into the lives of other people. When you think you have it bad, you really don't. And when you think you have it good, and you want to share that in a status update, there'll be 30 people out there who agree with you in the form of hitting the "like" button.