Trashy Baby

When G3 was about 4 months old, we purchased an exersaucer for him. $119, about 4 hours of assembly...and this was the response we got. Let's all reflect...

Priceless, right? Of course, he grew to love the exersaucer and provided us with about 3 months of freedom by entertaining himself inside his little world of colors and sounds. By month 8 he was over it...he wanted to move and groove and so the exersaucer now sits outside as an alternate method of containment, along with the stroller and his swing. In my opinion those 3 months were worth every penny...

But it was not to be the last time little G3 took in our hard work and money and spit it back into our faces. Literally. Case in point...every week I make up a few batches of food for him. He's had everything under the sun that's approved for babies his age, mostly fruits and vegetables. I go out of my way to get the best produce, ensure that he has a wide variety and gets to try all kinds of flavors. I also started buying the "Gerber Graduate" snacks for him...little crunchy wheels he can hold and slobber on, tiny little bits resembling cheerios that he can work on the pincer grasp, and "Li'l Sides" with savory titles like "Cheddar Mashed Potatoes and Broccoli"--most of which he hates. Do you know what his favorite food is?


Toast. Plain old, dry, whole wheat toast. Of course this has his gluten-free father in an uproar, as he shakes his head and proclaims gravely, "You're feeding him too much wheat, Lindsay. Too much wheat." I remind him that I'm following the American Pedatrician Something-or-Other reccomendations for feeding our child a balanced diet...not the advice of a 30 year old gluten-free man with colitis. But I digress.

The toast came in handy the last few weeks while G3 was teething (I say teething because that's what the pedatrician said was going on, but he seems to have "recovered" and still no more teeth appear). Anyhow...he was fussy, whiny, clingy and apparently anorexic. He wanted nothing to do with my slaved-over peaches or mashed potatoes or even his favorites like bananas and yogurt. He would burst into tears at the sight of the spoon and make faces similar to the one in the above picture. Heartbreaking (or obnoxious, depending on how many times he gives you that face a day.) The only thing he would eat was toast, with the fervor of a wild animal gnawing on a carcass. So, toast it was. And if I did manage to squeeze a bite of made-with-mommy-love food in him, he showed his gratitude by spitting it back out at me. Usually blueberries or some other stain-creating mess. Fortunately, he seems to be back on the sauce now, but the toast has become a staple.

But now another incident has been occuring, leading me to the title of Trashy Baby. As anyone who's been here knows, G3 has more toys than any baby needs. (Even though, having been to many a young child's house, I know he doesn't have half of what some kids have...) In any event, he's not lacking for colorful, plastic, and noisy entertainment. I have enough toys to switch them around so he doesn't get bored as quickly. Eventually, though, he passes on the toys and moves on to crawling about...and his favorite place is under my desk. There is a mass of wires and cords from the computer which--despite great efforts to contain them--keep spilling out of the back like fish spawning. G3 is obsessed with these wires and its not unusual for me to be typing away and have my keyboard or mouse go flying off the desk. He has also managed to turn the computer off not once, but twice. Sneaky little bugger.

And today, he discovered the wastepaper can. Oh, the elation! Seriously, why bother buying toys when a crumpled up Walmart receipt, a cheesestick wrapper, and a ripped up enevelope can provide a good half hour of unparalled joy?