The Cock Anniversary

Yesterday, August 27th, marked 3 years of marriage for Gabe and I. I must confess that I didn't even remember until the day before, and Gabe's response was "Whoop de do!" Yeah, we're not big anniversary-celebrators. But, still, let's all reflect on the glorious day of August 27th, 2005...

I'm sure most of you are aware that each anniversary is assigned an element of some sort, and you're supposed to give a gift containing that element to commemorate having survived 1, 5, 10, 50 years of marriage. As the years go up, so does the quality of the gift. For example, the first year is paper. The 25th is silver, and if you actually live long enough to make it to the 50th, you should be getting some gold.

For our anniversary, we spent it at a doctor's appointment in Danville (oh so romantic) and then headed over to my parents' house for dinner and a chance for G3 to visit with Grandad and Grammy. My mom had a nice chicken dinner for us, and as we were cleaning up, the topic of the anniversary elements (not sure if that's what they're called) was brought up.

I'm going to preface the conversation by letting you in on the little known fact that the element connected with the 3rd anniversary is "chalk". Say it out loud a couple times, quickly, in a jest, and see what it sounds like. Because it sounds like "cock" my friends. And so, the conversation went something like this...

Lindsay: "So what's the 3rd anniversary?"

Mom: "Cock"

Gabe: "What?"

Lindsay: "Huh?"

Mom (enunciating carefully): "Cock. Cock."

Lindsay: "WHAT?" What did you say?"
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Gabe: laughs hysterically

Mom: (enunciating even MORE carefully and louder): "COCK. You know, like COCK?"

Lindsay: "The 3rd anniversary is cock?"

Gabe: can no longer function due to laughing so hard he has tears streaming down his face

G3 (waddling around the table): "Ha ha ha ma ma ma whoa ha ha ha!"

Lindsay: "You're telling me its the cock anniversary?"

Gabe (now on the floor convulsing)

Mom (finally catches on): "NO ChALK! Get your minds out of the gutter."

So there you have it. As we closed the door to the Jeep and pulled out of the driveway, Gabe looked at me and said, "Lindsay. Your mom said 'cock'." We laughed from Freeburg to Northumberland about this, pointing out how she sounded like she was saying "cock" with a British accent. And so, I'm pretty sure the 3rd anniversary will be forever known to us as The Cock Anniversary.

"Cock!"