Horvath Happenings: Stay-At-Home-Mommy Blues

*(ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO HOW/WHY I CANNOT GET SPACES TO APPEAR BTW ALL OF THE PARAGRAPHS??????????????????????????)

After last week's crazy schedule, you'd think I would welcome a few consecutive days of staying my pajamas, lounging around the house with my son and eating bon-bons while we watch Oprah together. Yeah right.

First of all, that's a total myth. Well, except maybe for the pajama part. But if I'm going to be at home all day I do try to shower and put on fresh lounge clothes, which are totally different than pajamas. It seems such a waste to me to put on real clothes just to putter around outside my house or clean or play with G3.

I should also preface this post by saying that in no way do I not want to be a SAHM...at least not in my imperfect world. In my perfect world, my mom would live within walking distance and French Creek Vet would be located in Drums. In which case I would drop off G3 with my mom and happily go on to a fulfilling, positive, good-stress job, all the while knowing my son was being taken care of by someone who loves him as much as I do. Who would respect all my wishes and understand if I couldn't leave work at the exact time I was supposed to.

I've tossed over in my head (mostly at the insistance of my former co-workers here) the idea of going back to work for a day or two. But it just doesn't compute. I'd have to pay for daycare, drive 18 miles and work at a place that probably pushed me closer to having a stress-related heart-attack with each hour I spent there. I would probably make enough to break even between gas and daycare. It would mean getting up at the crack of dawn and I can only anticipate the issues of getting off work in time would be catastrophic. It just doesn't happen in an under-staffed veterinary hospital. So in reality--based on where I live and the job I have here--it just wouldn't work. And I don't have to. And I'm very happy to be able to be at home with G3. I think it would break my heart to drop his sensitive little soul off at daycare everyday at this age...and I don't know how other moms manage. Kudos to them.

Now back to me. So why did I have such a case of the blues this week?? I've been kind of trying to figure it out, because all the usual Sad Lindsay factors were non-existent. Bad weather? Nope. Cancelled plans?? Nope. Feeling fat?? Surprisingly, not too much. So what was it?

* Being at home all the time is isolating. I do have quite a few friends (former co-workers) with kids that I do play dates with, but not every single week. I am blessed to have them because without our get-togethers I'd probably be checking into the looney bin and G3 would be socially stunted. As it is, he's already learned that girls rule the world by being in a playgroup with 4 other little girls. He's already had the crap beat out of him and been forced to wear items such as a pink hat and pleated jeans. He's going to make someone a wonderful husband some day.

The day they made him wear a pink hat...

But yeah, during the weeks when no such gatherings occur, I tend to get very lonely, very antsy, and very bummed out.

* G3 has a 'tude. Those of you who know him in the flesh are probably thinking oh, NOW she's exaggerating! But I'm not, I swear, and I think G2 would back me up on this, as he's asked at least a dozen times over the past few weeks, um, is there something wrong with him? I think its a combination of being uncomfortable (teeth--the slowest-emerging ones ever--are on the warpath) and frustration. He's learning to walk (becoming closer every day) and he doesn't like it when you try to help him. He also doesn't like to eat. Or apparently do anything, because all day long its whine whine whine and hanging on Mommy. But when Mommy tries to cuddle or pick up the little monkey its whine whine whine let me go nooooo. I think a big part of his frustration is the lack of language at this age. In any case, its sometimes frustrating to be with him all day long and feel that he is unhappy, uncomfortable, and frustrated.

* G3 is transitioning from 2 naps a day down to 1. Frankly, I have known the day was coming for the last few weeks. First, he stopped falling asleep in the car. Way more interesting to watch the world whiz by in a vomit-inducing blur rather than take a snooze. Second, his second nap of the day has sort of become a rest period, more for me to quickly run around and get some stuff done. I will put him in his crib for a half hour or so and do things that are difficult/impossible to do with him, like taking the garbage up, mopping, whatever. Unlike most children in the world, G3 is totally uninterested in television (which, why should he be, seeing as he's watched it 6 times in his life) so the concept of a little downtime with a video really doesn't work. And sometimes, neither does the crib. I have a hard time listening to him scream when I know its not leading to sleep, and I also have a hard time when I have to do something and I can't. Like, take a shower and shave my legs. Hard to do when a fully clothed midget is crawling INTO the shower and reaching for the razor. And tasting shaving cream.

So, it was a rough week. I don't know why, other than what I listed above. It was beautiful, weather-wise. I got a few runs in, and I actually had more time to myself than normal thanks to Roomba (seriously, everyone needs to get one of these. BEST $100 BUCKS EVER SPENT. EVER.) I can only hope that its just a passing fancy and that next week I will feel back to normal.

Just in case my descriptions above have left you thinking G3 is a demon child, he's not. See below for proof...