I realize many of you may think I spend quite a bit of time "online" but as a little bit of proof that its not all fluff and wasted time...I came across a random blog recently, just some random woman who writes about life, art, photography, and the like. I added the blog to my reader because I liked the way she wrote. I think I found the blog because I was searching for "photography". In any event, this random person had a link to another random blog, and I came across this post which led me to think.
If you don't feel like reading it, its basically some guys interpretation of the 5 key ingredients to happieness. He thought about it, and polled a lot of people, and came to the conclusion that Introspection, Freedom, Compassion, Generosity, and Contentment are the general things we as humans need to be "happy". There was some discussion on the similarity and differences between "contentment" and "happiness" and that certain things that most people consider necessary to happieness (i.e. family, friends, good health) may not be the keys for people who are, say, loners, or in poor health.
Basically it was summed up that pretty much everyone could have all they need to be happy, if they just look within themselves, change their attitudes, stop focusing on the smallest of things--like unpaid bills, a disagreement with a spouse, etc.
There are many times in my life where I could say that I was happy but not content...when I lived in Pottstown, for example. I was way happy--loved my job, loved my friends, loved my life. But I wasn't content--Gabe was here in Hazleton, and I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. I was very focused on the whole big "getting engaged, getting married, getting a house" thing. Its funny to look back now...all of that came in good time. Could I have enjoyed those 4 years there even more than I did, had I not been so focused on what I didn't have at that exact moment?
And now, am I happy? Am I content?? In all aspects I have everything I need. I think a lot of my stressors and anxieties in life come from (a) things I can't control and (b) things not going according to my Big Master Plan. But when it comes down to it--minus all external factors, I have everything I need. A perfect child, a husband who loves me, a great family, and in reality---more true and real friends than most people. If we're going to count the superficial factors, I have a home, food on the table, money in the bank and a decent car. I live in a place that brings me peace and lets me cater to the inner nature girl inside of me (snakes be damned.) I think I've got all 5 of this particular person's "key ingredients" for happiness...and maybe a few more.
One quote in the post struck me, something about clearing your mind of rattling thoughts that lead nowhere (think: obsessing and being pissed because rain ruins my plans.) In the grand scheme, such things don't matter.
Yesterday, a friend of mine came over with her daughter--a person who of all people I know, seems the most unhappy and negative. The kids played in the kiddie pool, and the mom spent most of the time reprimanding her daugter for splashing, for throwing all the toys in the pool, for running and jumping back in the pool after she was dried off. It seemed like such a waste of energy to me...nothing was being harmed, both kids were happy, and aren't pool toys meant to be, you know...thrown in the pool?? I know I get exasperated with Gabey too sometimes, but it honestly struck me as unnecessary stress on the mom's part.
Today, it was pouring. Gabey and I set up camp in the garage...he in his diaper and crocs, painting and making playdough messes, me sweeping and then reading a People magazine and stopping every so often to remind Gabey not to feed Mickey playdough and not to climb on the plow. It seems like a simple thing, a simple way to pass time on a rainy afternoon with a kid who won't nap. Its probably a day that neither of us will particularly remember. Just a quiet hour or two when all was right with the world....
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