Pool Etiquette?

As I mentioned (I think) Gabe and up and joined the local pool last Monday. The pool is about 3 miles from our house, in the little town of Conyngham (aka "The Valley" to locals.) We have gone twice before dinner as a family, and today G3 and I embarked into the world of Moms-and-Kids during the afternoon.

The pool has a reputation of being snobby, and the application to join the pool is actually an application to join the Conyngham Valley Civic Organization. Meaning--we are now members of the CVCO and "expected" to attend meetings and participate in community functions. Oh, and we get to go to the pool too.

So this afternoon, I walked into the pool with a bit of aprehension. I'm not really one for entering large public social places alone (i.e. bars, pools...um, that's all that's coming to mind) but G3 really loves the water and dammit, for $285 I'm going to get my money's worth! Plus its been perfect pool weather, so off we went. I'm a little uncertain about pool ettiquette and what's appropriate and what's not, but these are my observations.

1. The Mom Cliques Do Exist. It's hard not to notice them. There seem to be three groups of moms. The Snobby Moms, who sit on the benches in make-up and fancy cover-ups, talking to the other Snobby Moms and watching their kids with one eye. These moms, for the most part, are all super skinny and well-ensembled, right down to their matching pedicures. They don't really talk to anyone else, but they do watch the other moms quite a bit. Then there are the Regular Moms--these are the ones laying out, or with a blanket spread out, or in the pool with their children (Snobby Moms don't get wet.) They all seem to be relatively friendly...with each other. They know each other's kids' names and yell things across the grass like "Jenny, are these pink crocs Madison's?" and "We'll be over at 5!" Unlike the Snobby Moms, they don't really pay any attention to anyone else but themselves.

Then there are the Other Moms...aka me. People who don't know anyone, or anyone else's kids, who come by themselves and maybe feel a little out of place. I saw one other Other Mom, and her kid kind of adopted me. More about him later.

2. Obnoxious Boys. I didn't like boys very much when I was a kid, and I've decided today that I still don't. (This could be bad news for G3 and his friends down the road.) I'm sorry, but I find boys between the ages of 8-12 in large groups to be highly annoying in the way that another species that you don't know anything about is. For example, aside from screaming and splashing wildly in the kiddie pool (kiddie pool...as in, the 1 foot deep area that is for babies, toddlers, and nervous shy kids who are afraid of the big pool.) Anyhow, G3 and I were sitting on our towels, lathering up in sunscreen, when a herd of these boys seemed to float into my space. There was about 5 of them, all fighting over one of those foam floating things. They were coming closer and closer to squashing my little peanut, and I kept waiting for them to move on but they didn't. Finally I said in a loud mom-voice "Careful guys!" and they all kind of looked at me like I was from Mars and moved on. I suppose they were just having fun but they sounded like they wanted to kill each other, and by consequence, little G3. Where were their moms? Which brings me to my next observation...

3. Are You Supposed To Watch Your Kids? As soon as G3 and I got into the pool, tucked in a corner by the stairs so he could stand up on the wall and splash around, a small child wandered over to us, eyeing G3's purple shovel with a jealous gleam. I smiled at him and said something but he was one of those weird kids who just kind of looks at you and doesn't engage. I would place him around 3 years old. His mom was the other Other Mom, sitting uncomfortably on a bench amid the Snobby Moms, talking on her cell phone. I knew this little boy was hers because at times, he would get out of the pool and run over to her. He would then jump back in the pool, practically body-slamming G3, and lurk around us like a shark, getting closer and closer. After a few times of this I kind of smiled at the mom in a way that said "Um, do you know your kid is jumping ON my baby?" to which she smiled back at me and waved at her son and said "Are you having fun honey?" Kid continued to hang out with G3 and I the entire time we were there. I don't know why I found this to be so frustrating except, like I said, he was pretty little. So I felt like I was watching two kids. And I couldn't really relax and concentrate on G3 because this guy was literally in my face the whole time. We did have a breakthrough when he rescued the floating shovel and kindly handed it back to G3, but most of the time just stood about 2 inches from us, not smiling, not talking, just...there. Obviously his mom found this to be just fine...

4. Bathing Suit Body Worries. As horrified as I am at my reflection in a bathing suit, I needn't worry (too much.) There are far, far worse bodies out there in far, far worse bathing suits. And the owners of these bodies and suits don't really seem to care (they're mostly the Regular Moms.) They don't seem to care, I presume, because they're pretty busy having fun swimming, splashing, and corralling kids. So I'm going to try not to be so self-conscious...this is most easily done by avoiding the chilling stares of the Snobby Moms.

5. Diaper Ettiquette. G3, like all other un-potty trained kids, wears these little pants called Swimmies instead of diaper while in the water. I'm not really sure the point since--as Gabe quickly found out--swimmies do not hold bodily fluids at all! Nonetheless they are required (and pretty cute as well.) However, after swimming, I feel the need to take G3 out of his bathing suit and swimmies and put him into regular clothes and a diaper before leaving. I find the changing room to be absolutely disgusting (not just this pool, pools and locker rooms EVERYWHERE) and besides, where do I put all my stuff while I'm changing him...on the wet floor? So I did this on a towel where we were sitting, and as I was doing it, it occurred to me that maybe this wasn't...appropriate. Especially since changing G3 is like changing an alligator and he tends to crawl away.

So my general assessment...yes the pool is snobby, but not enough so that I wouldn't keep going back or anything. I find other people's children to be annoying. I don't look as bad as I thought but I could definitly look better. And I have no idea how long kids can be naked in public places before its considered illegal!