I'm sort of a superstitious person--I believe in karma, and I believe in luck (good and bad), and old adages like "if it rains on your wedding day its good luck" and I read (and usually believe) my horoscope. And, I have also always believed "bad things happen in 3s". Because frankly, they usually do. And I'm hoping this time I'm wrong.
I received two bits of bad news this week, neither that directly affected me, but both saddened and shook me a little bit. Both made me wary of something bad happening--which, with my parents in Arizona, my sister in North Carolina, and Gabe off to NY soon, makes me very nervous. At the same time, I also feel like, through the magic of fate, that neither of things are going to happen to me...what are the chances right?
On Wednesday I learned that my cousin Andee--who was 33 weeks pregnant--lost her baby. I really can't think of anything worse happening--being that close to delivering and your baby dying. And having to deliver it somehow, knowing its dead. I just cannot imagine, and I don't know how to react to my cousin. I want to reach out to her, write her an email, but I don't want to intrude on her grief or insult her by saying anything that would make her think I actually have ANY idea how she is feeling. Because I'm pretty sure losing a child is one of those things that defines your entire life, and you probably never really get over. Especially losing one before she ever got a start at life. And really, what else can I say besides I'm so very sorry that you lost your daughter?
So, that news has been front and center in my head since Wednesday--and then yesterday I was killing some time just piddling around on Facebook and I noticed my friend Erin's status read "What in the world happened to Tara?" So of course, pleasantly curious, I head to Tara Zerbe's page...only to be able to deduce by the comments left for her that she died. Yes, a totally healthy young woman the same age as me just dies suddenly? She was alive at the beginning of the week (just like my cousin's baby) and now she's not? More investigation over the next 15 minutes (seriously, what did people do before things like Facebook and Myspace and texting?) led me discover that she passed away Wed or Thurs, from a brain aneurysm. You know, one of those freak things that only seems to happen on "House"? Come to think of it, both of these events are the kind of freak accidents that only happen on TV medical dramas.
So anyhow, Tara was a friend of mine from high school. She was a year older than me, and I know there was a period of time where we actually "hung out" outside of just being friends in school. She was always very sweet and one of those people who didn't really belong to a clique or group, because everyone liked her. She had a very, very strong faith. I reconnected with her about two years ago, through MySpace (seriously, best invention ever.) She is probably someone I never would have talked to again without the lure of the Internet. As it was, I "talked" to her periodically over the last 2 years...she was a big one for leaving random, sweet comments on my page, just saying hi, or complimenting my son, or just letting me know what she'd been up to. I have the feeling she will be sorely missed by many, many, many people. Rest easy, Tara.
So, aside from being sad, and pondering the fragility of life, and wondering WHY such bad things would happen to good people, I also feel a tiny bit of safety from losing a nearly full-term baby and from having someone I love die of a brain aneurysm. Like, what are the chances right?
And then I go back to the old "bad things happen in three's". I know it is highly selfish and narcissistic of me to assume either of these tragedies have anything to do with me...but I still feel a little bit shaken, as though I'm waiting for the 3rd proverbial shoe to drop. So it may sound silly, but everyone please watch your step, wear your seat belt, listen to your gut, don't go drunk horseback riding (you know who you are!!!!) Just take a minute to sit back and be thankful for what and who you have right now at this very moment in time. Thank you:)
No comments:
Post a Comment