Slummin' at the Bloomsburg Fair

Nutritionally speaking, that is.

If you don't know what the Bloomsburg Fair is, you're clearly not from Pennsylvania and maybe not from the northeast part of the country. Its basically the world's biggest fair and it takes place in Bloomsburg, PA. Having grown up in Selinsgrove, a mere 45 miles away, and having spent the first 3 years of college in Bloom, I am well acquainted with the fair. My school gave us a day off every year to go to the fair, and Bloomsburg pretty much shuts down as everyone in town trips out over "fair week".

One thing about the fair, its pretty much the same every year. So, although I try to go every year, it had been awhile since Gabe and I were there. In years past I've gone with my parents, with friends as a teenager, with a tumbler of vodka as a college student, and with Gabe. This year was my first year taking my son, the easily-overwhelmed G3.



Back to the food. Clearly the highlight of most carnival-type venues is the food. The Bloomsburg Fair is no exception...in fact, I think the food stands outnumber all the other attractions put together. This includes multiple barns of 4-H farm animals, numerous tractor, log cabin, and hot tub displays (really, the fair is one of kind), a handful of frightening rides that look as if they were made in the early '70's, exhibits of "freaks", a tons of carnival games.



So not only is the fair basically food porn for the average person (i.e. one who doesn't indulge in funnel cakes and deep-fried everything on a regular basis), its like x-rated food porn for poor, gluten-free Gabe. All week leading up to the fair he'd rebelliously announce at random times "I'm gonna get a stromboli, a pizza, a calzone, fried oreos and a gyro!" with a wild look in his eyes. Having eaten nothing with wheat in it for nearly a year (save for a drunken relapse that involved a lonely leftover slice of pizza) I was pretty sure that Gabe wasn't going to go apeshit...but if it was hard for me to resist the smells and sights of walk-away sundaes and deep-fried cheese, I can't imagine how Gabe felt. I think I saw him drooling at one point...



As it was we lightly indulged. The funnel cake is usually my Bloomsburg Fair staple, but I recently read that it contains something like 1400 calories and 58 grams of fat, so I instead chose french fries. I know, boring, but fair fries are comprable to boardwalk fries. And, somewhere along the line in my life, I've started to convince myself that fries are good for me. I mean, they're just potatoes right? Gabe had pork-on-a-stick an I rounded it out with an ice-cream cone. We were resistant, and I was happy later, considering my diet the day before consisted of pizza, cake and beer (staples of every 3 year old's birthday party.) Other highlights of the fair...



* The animals. Pretty much every creature from every one of G3's animal books was alive and in the flesh at the Bloomsburg fair. We went through about 6 barns full of horses, cows, sheep, goats, pigs, and dogs. We skipped the poultry barn (yawn) and Gabe practically threw up from the smell of animal waste. But, G3 really like the animals. He kept pointing and exclaiming "Ooooo" and "kitty!" which is apparently synonomous with every 4 legged animal. Even though I grew up around horses, the Clydesdales and Belgians still amaze me in their sheer size. I'm happy that G3 is an animal-lover too...

* The people. If you're like me, and people-watching is something of a sport, the fair is the place to go. People from all walks of life, old and young, thin and fat, well-dressed and tattered, and kids...lots of kids. Lots of kids on leashes. Yes, you read that right. I think I posted before about my sheer amazement at seeing a bunch of daycare kids hooked up to harnesses like a sled-dog team. I'm not talking just little kids either, I saw one boy who had to be at least 6 with a red nylon harness over his body, the end of it looped around his mom's wrist. I think, but I'm not sure, that this MIGHT be a form of child abuse. I mean--6 years old. Then again, if there's ever a place that you could lose a kid, this would be it. Little Johnny could disapear in the crowd and the next thing you know he's traveling with the carnies, taking money from freakishly curious people who want to see the World's Smallest Lady or the World's Longest Snake.

* Smoking. PA's no-smoking-in-public-places law (which just took effect on September 11) has a lot of exemptions, and one of them is the Bloomsburg Fair. It never ceases to amaze me how people will walk through a tightly-knit crowd with a burning cigarette in their hand, blowing smoke directly into others' faces. What's even MORE mind-boggling is parents pushing strollers with a cigarette dangling in their hand, blowing smoke directly down on a little baby. I guess maybe there are a lot of people out there that don't think that smoke is bad for babies, but since its generally pretty taboo to smoke in places besides bars (which, frankly, babies don't frequent) it just seems shocking to see.

Overall G3's first trip to the fair was a good one. Even being a kid who's not particularly fond of large crowds and places, and even with a cold he was pretty chipper. Sadly, I didn't take any pictures, but I'll leave you with a few from the day before, Gabe's godson Mr. Keegan Riefer's 3rd birthday party. So Keegan is 3 and Emi and G3 are nearly 15 months. Where does the time go???